I know why…

Why am I here?

Why do i matter?

Who says anything matters..

Im going through a time where I honestly feel like I don’t want to be here. I say that to myself often. I would never commit suicide or anything. I’m not unhappy, I just don’t understand sometimes.

I try to push it away by saying, “God has a reason for everything, he has a plan, he is taking care of us.” All which I believe with all my heart, I just do not know his plan yet and sometimes I forget those reasons.

If it were up to me I would choose to not be on this earth, like never created.

Truthfully I am afraid of the future.

I hate the way this world is, the way some people are, cold hearted and really only care about themselves and what they want. And I only imagine things getting worst. What I see matters to this world is basically status and money. In order to live an okay life you need money, but you’ll have to deal with the stress that comes with it, like spending all our waking hours working.

One way or another you have to work.

HASSLE TO MASSACHUSETTS

So I had a rough time on my way to Massachusetts.

I had been planning to go to Massachusetts since last week. I even took a break from work to travel over there. I really had to see my family.

The last time I went, I decided to travel with a low key company that drives people from door to door.

It was pretty convenient. It didn’t have much space, nor top quality traveling conditions but It did have air conditioning, and I was willing to make the trip with them. I mean they were pretty cheap and door to door.

The first time they got me where I needed to go and back in perfect timing with no hassles; but Saturday– Saturday I was stressed.

For some reason things weren’t going well. I was supposed to leave at 10 AM, and then 2, and 6 and then 10 pm.

I called the day before and scheduled my pick up. I went shopping and had a really late night packing and organizing everything. I ended up going to sleep around 5AM to then wake up at 8AM. They told me to be ready by 8:30. And I was. I was sleep deprived, barely could muster two coherent thoughts, and felt a little sick, but I was determined to make it to Massachusetts. So After I was done, I sat to play with my baby nephew because I am going to miss him, and I forgot that I didn’t have my phone in my pocket and that it was on vibrate.

That was my fault.

I was too sleepy to remember. I called and rescheduled for 2pm, they said be ready by 12:30am.

Okayy, So in the positive side I was able to take a longer nap. I even through up the water I had drank. My body wasn’t feeling too well from staying up.

I woke up at 12. After the nap I felt better, I could think better. My stomach still wasn’t feeling well though. It was like I was tooo full but I hadn’t ate anything only drinking water. So I thought maybe if I drink my smoothie I might feel better. I did, but not too much I couldn’t drink it all right away, I have been drinking it little by little the whole day. So I ate sea salted almonds, maybe the seasalt would help the water content. It didn’t.

So I went downstairs at 12:30 because I wanted wait outside, and I wanted some sun before going in the van.

I ended up waiting till 1:14 and then finally calling them because it seemed they forgot about me.

They told me that they called me and that the guy had left already and that he isn’t going to turn around, but that maybe they can send someone else and they’ll call me back.

So I waited outside. and waited, called my boyfriend on Skype and spent some online time with him. And still they hadn’t called. So I called them, and it was the same story, they came, called, and no one answered. But both these times I had no missed calls, voicemails, or anything.

I understand that this is low quality travel, but I don’t believe that they were trying to get in contact with me for real. I was standing outside with suitcases and no one saw me, and I didn’t see them, so I’m not sure if they were lying to me, or if there was a miscommunication going on.

I was told to come to their site because they weren’t going to send anyone else.

So I sat down and stood on Skype for a little longer. and then I picked up my luggage and headed for the train. NYC transit is a pain. I also noticed that there aren’t many gentleman anymore, everyone saw me struggling with 3 bags, and no one tried to help me go down or up the stairs.

When I got here the last van going to Mass. was scheduled for 6pm, and they weren’t there anymore when i got there at 5:45. The next one was leaving at 10 pm and only going to Providence, not even all the way where I needed to go, I actually began waiting until 8pm and my sister told me to use take a cab back home and go tomorrow in the first van.

At least they had free WIFI in the waiting area for all the time I waited there.

But that’s what I did, and I made sure to be awake at 4 am to leave at 4:30 am the next day and finally I got to Massachussets at 9am Sunday. It was a fun ride, and the day before it turned out there was a fire on the road where I needed t pass through, and they closed the road so I actually saved myself a bigger hassle.

Maybe God intended for things to go this way for a reason. IDK. It was a hassle, but at the same time it was kind of fun. I got to spend time with my family and boyfriend, and even time alone in this waiting area. And frankly, I ended up laughing, enjoying it and thanking God the day after.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Veggetti, Spagetti Maker.

At Bed, Bath, and Beyond I found The Veggetti Spiral Vegetable Slicer for $14.99 and the Spirooli Spiral Slicer for $24.99. Now I can make healthy Spaghetti from Veggies. 🙂 mmmm.

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Rawfully Organic

Starting 7 days ago, Aug 1, I have incorporated this new food .. lifestyle into my diet. It is called Fully Raw Vegan. So I am in the process of becoming a Fully Raw Vegan.

All Naturaal, eating only vegetables, fruits, nuts, and seeds.

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My not so green, Greeen Smoothie.

Part of my Fully Raw Diet 🙂

2 Bananas

2 Kiwis

Handful of :

Raspberries

Kale

Ice cubes

This drink was so delicious and refreshing, I was full before I even finished it.

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INFJ Personality Types

I am a :

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INFJ personality

5 Things About Me

 

Hey everyone,

In this video I introducing myself and telling you 5 things about me.

Please like, leave me some feedback, and subscribe

Blog Links:

http://www.puretreasure.wordpress.com
http://www.aninspiredday.blogspot.com

Than you for watching,

Have a beautiful day.

Larimarx3

My Fashion Art From Start

 

Music:
What make you beautiful – One Direction
Hey, soul sister – Train
Story of us – Taylor Swift

Comment and tell me what you think. I’m not an expert at this, I learned on my own and continued improving as time went on, and I’m still learning more everyday.

Please let me know what you think, this is an old video of mine.

Tuition

Great day.

I loved my 1st college, It was a Christian Private school, and they were a great community of people. I made friends there, and learned a lot of things. It was definitely a blessing at a time where I was totally clueless, and thought no college would ever accept me.

I’ve always had an issue with failure, I don’t like to fail. Applying to private colleges there was always a chance that no one would choose me, and it felt like setting myself up for failure.

(Even though I have been an honor student since elementary)

That always played a role when it came to applying to schools. The other part of the problem when applying was procrastination. I never applied to middle school, they chose me, high school, they chose me, and college, well they chose me also. I had to fill out an application, but I was pretty much guaranteed the position. It was an awesome feeling because I had heard great things about this college, and I wanted to be in there.

It was beautiful, the classes were awesome and I did learn a lot, they also had church services and prayer so it helped me in my faith.

But I had an issue that quickly became a problem, Tuition. It should have been explained a little better to me, and I should have prayed about it more before making a decision to get into the school. Unfortunately, I had to transfer because it was too expensive for me. I totally loved the classes and the people, and the praying, christian community that the school had, but why did it have to be soo expensive?.

So now here I am 2 years later paying tuition. My loans interest charges going up by the month, and a loan under my mothers name, which might mess with her credit if I don’t pay it soon. BAD

While in that school, I commuted, paying metro card fees, paying for expensive books, and I had to have extra classes that were required for the private school, which were not part of my major. Those credits did not transfer when I transferred. Out of my 31 credits only 15 were accepted. The student base was mostly made up of older adults, and I wanted to be in a school with a lot of clubs, and extracurricular activities, and they were lacking that. Now I am in a community college and in this college I got accepted into a program called ASAP that gives me monthly metro cards, pays for my books, and pays for whatever financial aid does not pay. It is so much of a blessing. I am in a dance club, and a bible study club.

So was it worth going to the other school? I am not sure. A great experience? Yes it was. Would I do it again? uhhh probably, but then want to transfer again.

I hate owing money, so now that I am in another college, and practically in it for free, I am trying to pay everything off. I do not want to have to deal with this after I graduate. I didn’t know that so much was accumulating, and how real it is to have a loan that is due for payments.

Today I am proud of myself.

I tackled part of my tuition! (insert balloons here) 1 down 2 more to go.

I paid my school the full amount, and now I can get my Official Transcript 🙂 I still have loans from the state that need to be paid, but are currently on forbearance.

Ladies and gentleman, please be very well informed before entering a school. Have a plan, and do not just go for the shiny parts of the school because you can get those first few core classes anywhere. Like an alternate, cheaper, community school where you can finish the core classes, and then transfer to whatever school you want to complete your major. If you’d rather go to the private school first, then do some research on scholarships, and programs that you might qualify for.

It is a major Save.

Love Larix3

psalm 25:4-5