I know why…

Why am I here?

Why do i matter?

Who says anything matters..

Im going through a time where I honestly feel like I don’t want to be here. I say that to myself often. I would never commit suicide or anything. I’m not unhappy, I just don’t understand sometimes.

I try to push it away by saying, “God has a reason for everything, he has a plan, he is taking care of us.” All which I believe with all my heart, I just do not know his plan yet and sometimes I forget those reasons.

If it were up to me I would choose to not be on this earth, like never created.

Truthfully I am afraid of the future.

I hate the way this world is, the way some people are, cold hearted and really only care about themselves and what they want. And I only imagine things getting worst. What I see matters to this world is basically status and money. In order to live an okay life you need money, but you’ll have to deal with the stress that comes with it, like spending all our waking hours working.

One way or another you have to work.

School is work, networking is work, building a resume is work, keeping a routine is work. Work causes stress when you add pressure. And most people have the pressure of NEEDING to work to live a comfortable life, not choosing to work.

I believe this is what stresses me out. I’m only 21, I’m not set to choose if I want to work or not. The government says I have to work,  I have to pay bills, and if I want to have a place to live, eat, or wear something decent, I have to work, Otherwise we have the option to be homeless- tough choice.

Was I really born to wake up everyday to go to school, to work, and to sleep and do it again over and over and in between to fill time, find some meaningless entertainment, like a movie that I would’t even remember in a month.. I highly doubt it.

Everyone wants to be safe, happy, loved, peaceful, joyful, energetic and basically alive with no worries.

As I put things into perspective, I notice that I am really pressured. Pressured to keep up with time, to behave a certain way, to conform to societies ways, to have an education if I ever want to make it anywhere (even to help people you need a piece of paper with stamps and a signature), I have to work because I need to pay for that education, — Stress. I cant get a great job until I get an education, and I cant get a good education until I get a great job.

I can’t buy a house until I get a great job and great credit, and Its hard to get a great job if I dont have a great education. And great credit comes when you are willing to spend and then pay them back with interest.

This system sucks, it works like a trap, the government is cruel, and the police force isn’t all serving and protecting the way they are suppossed to.

I hear stories about people getting killed all the time, stories of people trusting the police and becoming a victim instead.

I believe we have a false sense of freedom. When you try to be dfferent and speak up, you can get killed, shut down, shoved into a prison, who knows…  disorder is disliked.

I say why was I born, and why am I still here..

I can really only answer that in one way.

Jesus.

He is the way, the truth and the life.

you ever heard “The truth will set you free”? Well Jesus is the truth.

The only thing that can truly set me free is Jesus.

So he gives me hope and stregnth, and love, and joy, and peace all over again even when this world is terrible, the bright light in him restores hope to people everyday.

I know why I am here; I matter because God created me the way I am, with a purpose and a plan.

  • Jeremiah 1:5, NIV Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.
  • Revelation 4:11, NKJV You are worthy, O Lord, To receive glory and honor and power; For You created all things, And by Your will they exist and were created.
  • Matthew 37-39, ESV And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
  • Matthew 5:16, NIV Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
  • Ecclesiastes 12:13, ESV The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.

    Micah 6:8, ESV He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

  • Psalm 86:12, ESV I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever.
  • Jeremiah 29:11, NIV For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.tells me so.. 

HASSLE TO MASSACHUSETTS

So I had a rough time on my way to Massachusetts.

I had been planning to go to Massachusetts since last week. I even took a break from work to travel over there. I really had to see my family.

The last time I went, I decided to travel with a low key company that drives people from door to door.

It was pretty convenient. It didn’t have much space, nor top quality traveling conditions but It did have air conditioning, and I was willing to make the trip with them. I mean they were pretty cheap and door to door.

The first time they got me where I needed to go and back in perfect timing with no hassles; but Saturday– Saturday I was stressed.

For some reason things weren’t going well. I was supposed to leave at 10 AM, and then 2, and 6 and then 10 pm.

I called the day before and scheduled my pick up. I went shopping and had a really late night packing and organizing everything. I ended up going to sleep around 5AM to then wake up at 8AM. They told me to be ready by 8:30. And I was. I was sleep deprived, barely could muster two coherent thoughts, and felt a little sick, but I was determined to make it to Massachusetts. So After I was done, I sat to play with my baby nephew because I am going to miss him, and I forgot that I didn’t have my phone in my pocket and that it was on vibrate.

That was my fault.

I was too sleepy to remember. I called and rescheduled for 2pm, they said be ready by 12:30am.

Okayy, So in the positive side I was able to take a longer nap. I even through up the water I had drank. My body wasn’t feeling too well from staying up.

I woke up at 12. After the nap I felt better, I could think better. My stomach still wasn’t feeling well though. It was like I was tooo full but I hadn’t ate anything only drinking water. So I thought maybe if I drink my smoothie I might feel better. I did, but not too much I couldn’t drink it all right away, I have been drinking it little by little the whole day. So I ate sea salted almonds, maybe the seasalt would help the water content. It didn’t.

So I went downstairs at 12:30 because I wanted wait outside, and I wanted some sun before going in the van.

I ended up waiting till 1:14 and then finally calling them because it seemed they forgot about me.

They told me that they called me and that the guy had left already and that he isn’t going to turn around, but that maybe they can send someone else and they’ll call me back.

So I waited outside. and waited, called my boyfriend on Skype and spent some online time with him. And still they hadn’t called. So I called them, and it was the same story, they came, called, and no one answered. But both these times I had no missed calls, voicemails, or anything.

I understand that this is low quality travel, but I don’t believe that they were trying to get in contact with me for real. I was standing outside with suitcases and no one saw me, and I didn’t see them, so I’m not sure if they were lying to me, or if there was a miscommunication going on.

I was told to come to their site because they weren’t going to send anyone else.

So I sat down and stood on Skype for a little longer. and then I picked up my luggage and headed for the train. NYC transit is a pain. I also noticed that there aren’t many gentleman anymore, everyone saw me struggling with 3 bags, and no one tried to help me go down or up the stairs.

When I got here the last van going to Mass. was scheduled for 6pm, and they weren’t there anymore when i got there at 5:45. The next one was leaving at 10 pm and only going to Providence, not even all the way where I needed to go, I actually began waiting until 8pm and my sister told me to use take a cab back home and go tomorrow in the first van.

At least they had free WIFI in the waiting area for all the time I waited there.

But that’s what I did, and I made sure to be awake at 4 am to leave at 4:30 am the next day and finally I got to Massachussets at 9am Sunday. It was a fun ride, and the day before it turned out there was a fire on the road where I needed t pass through, and they closed the road so I actually saved myself a bigger hassle.

Maybe God intended for things to go this way for a reason. IDK. It was a hassle, but at the same time it was kind of fun. I got to spend time with my family and boyfriend, and even time alone in this waiting area. And frankly, I ended up laughing, enjoying it and thanking God the day after.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Veggetti, Spagetti Maker.

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At Bed, Bath, and Beyond I found The Veggetti Spiral Vegetable Slicer for $14.99 and the Spirooli Spiral Slicer for $24.99. Now I can make healthy Spaghetti from Veggies. :) mmmm. Continue reading

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Rawfully Organic

raw-food-diet

Starting 7 days ago, Aug 1, I have incorporated this new food .. lifestyle into my diet. It is called Fully Raw Vegan. So I am in the process of becoming a Fully Raw Vegan.

All Naturaal, eating only vegetables, fruits, nuts, and seeds. Continue reading

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5 Things About Me

 

Hey everyone,

In this video I introducing myself and telling you 5 things about me.

Please like, leave me some feedback, and subscribe

Blog Links:

http://www.puretreasure.wordpress.com
http://www.aninspiredday.blogspot.com

Than you for watching,

Have a beautiful day.

Larimarx3

My Fashion Art From Start

 

Music:
What make you beautiful – One Direction
Hey, soul sister – Train
Story of us – Taylor Swift

Comment and tell me what you think. I’m not an expert at this, I learned on my own and continued improving as time went on, and I’m still learning more everyday.

Please let me know what you think, this is an old video of mine.

Tuition

Great day.

I loved my 1st college, It was a Christian Private school, and they were a great community of people. I made friends there, and learned a lot of things. It was definitely a blessing at a time where I was totally clueless, and thought no college would ever accept me.

I’ve always had an issue with failure, I don’t like to fail. Applying to private colleges there was always a chance that no one would choose me, and it felt like setting myself up for failure.

(Even though I have been an honor student since elementary)

That always played a role when it came to applying to schools. The other part of the problem when applying was procrastination. I never applied to middle school, they chose me, high school, they chose me, and college, well they chose me also. I had to fill out an application, but I was pretty much guaranteed the position. It was an awesome feeling because I had heard great things about this college, and I wanted to be in there.

It was beautiful, the classes were awesome and I did learn a lot, they also had church services and prayer so it helped me in my faith.

But I had an issue that quickly became a problem, Tuition. It should have been explained a little better to me, and I should have prayed about it more before making a decision to get into the school. Unfortunately, I had to transfer because it was too expensive for me. I totally loved the classes and the people, and the praying, christian community that the school had, but why did it have to be soo expensive?.

So now here I am 2 years later paying tuition. My loans interest charges going up by the month, and a loan under my mothers name, which might mess with her credit if I don’t pay it soon. BAD

While in that school, I commuted, paying metro card fees, paying for expensive books, and I had to have extra classes that were required for the private school, which were not part of my major. Those credits did not transfer when I transferred. Out of my 31 credits only 15 were accepted. The student base was mostly made up of older adults, and I wanted to be in a school with a lot of clubs, and extracurricular activities, and they were lacking that. Now I am in a community college and in this college I got accepted into a program called ASAP that gives me monthly metro cards, pays for my books, and pays for whatever financial aid does not pay. It is so much of a blessing. I am in a dance club, and a bible study club.

So was it worth going to the other school? I am not sure. A great experience? Yes it was. Would I do it again? uhhh probably, but then want to transfer again.

I hate owing money, so now that I am in another college, and practically in it for free, I am trying to pay everything off. I do not want to have to deal with this after I graduate. I didn’t know that so much was accumulating, and how real it is to have a loan that is due for payments.

Today I am proud of myself.

I tackled part of my tuition! (insert balloons here) 1 down 2 more to go.

I paid my school the full amount, and now I can get my Official Transcript :) I still have loans from the state that need to be paid, but are currently on forbearance.

Ladies and gentleman, please be very well informed before entering a school. Have a plan, and do not just go for the shiny parts of the school because you can get those first few core classes anywhere. Like an alternate, cheaper, community school where you can finish the core classes, and then transfer to whatever school you want to complete your major. If you’d rather go to the private school first, then do some research on scholarships, and programs that you might qualify for.

It is a major Save.

Love Larix3