I know why…

Why am I here?

Why do i matter?

Who says anything matters..

Im going through a time where I honestly feel like I don’t want to be here. I say that to myself often. I would never commit suicide or anything. I’m not unhappy, I just don’t understand sometimes.

I try to push it away by saying, “God has a reason for everything, he has a plan, he is taking care of us.” All which I believe with all my heart, I just do not know his plan yet and sometimes I forget those reasons.

If it were up to me I would choose to not be on this earth, like never created.

Truthfully I am afraid of the future.

I hate the way this world is, the way some people are, cold hearted and really only care about themselves and what they want. And I only imagine things getting worst. What I see matters to this world is basically status and money. In order to live an okay life you need money, but you’ll have to deal with the stress that comes with it, like spending all our waking hours working.

One way or another you have to work.

School is work, networking is work, building a resume is work, keeping a routine is work. Work causes stress when you add pressure. And most people have the pressure of NEEDING to work to live a comfortable life, not choosing to work.

I believe this is what stresses me out. I’m only 21, I’m not set to choose if I want to work or not. The government says I have to work,  I have to pay bills, and if I want to have a place to live, eat, or wear something decent, I have to work, Otherwise we have the option to be homeless- tough choice.

Was I really born to wake up everyday to go to school, to work, and to sleep and do it again over and over and in between to fill time, find some meaningless entertainment, like a movie that I would’t even remember in a month.. I highly doubt it.

Everyone wants to be safe, happy, loved, peaceful, joyful, energetic and basically alive with no worries.

As I put things into perspective, I notice that I am really pressured. Pressured to keep up with time, to behave a certain way, to conform to societies ways, to have an education if I ever want to make it anywhere (even to help people you need a piece of paper with stamps and a signature), I have to work because I need to pay for that education, — Stress. I cant get a great job until I get an education, and I cant get a good education until I get a great job.

I can’t buy a house until I get a great job and great credit, and Its hard to get a great job if I dont have a great education. And great credit comes when you are willing to spend and then pay them back with interest.

This system sucks, it works like a trap, the government is cruel, and the police force isn’t all serving and protecting the way they are suppossed to.

I hear stories about people getting killed all the time, stories of people trusting the police and becoming a victim instead.

I believe we have a false sense of freedom. When you try to be dfferent and speak up, you can get killed, shut down, shoved into a prison, who knows…  disorder is disliked.

I say why was I born, and why am I still here..

I can really only answer that in one way.

Jesus.

He is the way, the truth and the life.

you ever heard “The truth will set you free”? Well Jesus is the truth.

The only thing that can truly set me free is Jesus.

So he gives me hope and stregnth, and love, and joy, and peace all over again even when this world is terrible, the bright light in him restores hope to people everyday.

I know why I am here; I matter because God created me the way I am, with a purpose and a plan.

  • Jeremiah 1:5, NIV Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.
  • Revelation 4:11, NKJV You are worthy, O Lord, To receive glory and honor and power; For You created all things, And by Your will they exist and were created.
  • Matthew 37-39, ESV And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
  • Matthew 5:16, NIV Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
  • Ecclesiastes 12:13, ESV The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.Micah 6:8, ESV He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?
  • Psalm 86:12, ESV I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever.
  • Jeremiah 29:11, NIV For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.tells me so.. 

Memory Lane . If only I knew what the future holds

Drafted 4 moths ago, and just writing my heart out. I felt like this often but thankfully now I can say i feel better, more in control of my life, and like God is sitting right next to me pulling me forward. I am happier than I was a few months ago, and so I am really grateful to be able to look back and see that I was so lost just a few months ago and already God has given me a hope to hold on to….

 

If only I knew what the future holds.

I wish and hope and pray  that a lot of good and fortune would come. But honestly I’m afraid.

I fear trying because I am afraid to fail. I need to remember that not trying is worse than failure. Continue reading

Wives submitting to husbands (video reply)

So I was watching a video online about Kirk Cameron saying wives should be submissive to their husbands, and another one about the full house star Candace Cameron Bure and how she said she is submissive to her husband. And the The Young Turks on YouTube completely dissected this Biblical idea of women being submissive to their husbands. I love watching this show because they always bring up good ideas, and questions. But on this video I had to leave my comment because I believe they are seeing submission as the negative submission, like a slave to a master or a maid to a boss. But not at all, this submission that the bible refers to is mutual respect of ideas and more. I wrote out a comment and if you read through it all please let me know what you think … THANK YOU🙂

First , Here are the videos if you want to see them..

I know it’s a lot.. please read.. It’s not like that at all . wives submit to husbands THE WAY YOU SUBMIT TO THE LORD and husbands LOVE YOUR WIVES respect your wives JUST AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH.. and how did christ love the church? He died for us so that we may live, and he lives for us so that we can be free of sin and death and live our destiny in him, in goodness and love.. it is not one-sided “yes sir” we don’t submit to god saying yes sir.. we talk to god and tell him the desires in our heart and he listens and makes a way for us, and we listen to his guidance because he knows what is right for us, because he knows our HEARTS, AND OUR SPIRIT AND WHO WE REALLY ARE, his plans are always to prosper and not to harm us, and to make us victorious in him because he loves us and desires us to be happy in our full potential as children of GOD the creator of heaven and earth, and everything you know.. This passage is an addition to marriages, how you’re supposed to treat a marriage WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE THE CHARACTERISTICS OF THE HOLY SPIRIT IN YOU: LOVE, PEACE, GOODNESS, KINDNESS, FAITHFULNESS, HOLYNESS, SELF CONTROL, JOY, GENTLENESS ETC. (Gal 5:22)

 

It’s a command to both husband and wives to respect each other, listen to each other, submit to eachother, work together when making decisions, and a wife tells her husband how she feels, and what she wants .. and the husband is supposed to respect her, love her the way Christ loves us, and support her.. submission is showing respect to eachother NOT THE WORDLY SUBMISSION WHICH HAS A STIGMA ATTACHED TO IT, ALMOST LIKE A SLAVE/ MAID/ OBEDIENCE IN EVERYTHING.. NOT THAT AT ALL.. it is assumed that a woman waited for God’s guidance in finding her husband and so his heart will be for her and her heart will be for him, but since we are sinful people we get selfish and want whatever we want and that’s how some marriages end, and god is just laying out some guidelines to make every GOD CENTERED marriage work. And though it does not say MEN be submissive to your wife, it does give other commands which in order to be fulfilled a husband has to also submit to what his wife desires, so they submit to eachother, love eachother equally because they are one, and treat eachother the way they would treat themselves.

And yes Husbands have the final final say in decisions that they can’t come into agreement with, just because someone has to have the final say of what they’re going to do, and the husband is the head of the household. And the command is for wives to be submissive .. ,but he doesn’t just decide no or yes… as a christ centered marriage and as head of household he goes and talks to god/ prays and God will guide them both..And the husband is commanded to love her so much that he will do what is best for her, no matter what. and the only decision he’ll say no to ,, is if he sees a better way or if it will hurt his other half in some way.

BIBLE VERSES:

Ephesians 5: 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands AS YOU DO TO THE LORD. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Lake Tahoe w. Images

I miss Lake Tahoe.

There is no place like the open air and beautiful landscape of lake Tahoe in Nevada.  My first trip when i moved to California was to Lake Tahoe. It is a beautiful peaceful place. I had never seen such beautiful scenery as. Getting there and seeing the open space, and the steep mountains up close and then actually on top of the mountain we hiked and the lake istelf and camp site. It was all surreal! The whole experience was awesome and I want to go again soon ! These are some of the images I took of the place and the friends I went with. Enjoy !  (I also saw a bear for the first time and he was free and up close by our cabin. :

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Moving to California

Helloo everyone,

Long time no post !🙂

A lot of exciting things have been going on in my life.

I officially graduated from my 2 year college with an Associates degree in Business Administration. I am so excited to put this degree to work. I am sure that I can find a job that will be in line with my future goals.

I am so HAPPY to have finally graduated after 4 years of being out of highschool.

So even though I graduated my education is not done (I wish); I chose to continue this journey to being a future counselor in California.

I have decided to move from New York to California, which is a HUGE move for me. My first time living alone and I chose to move 6 hours away, (sorry mom).

My mother is not taking this news very well because It’ll  be far from everyone I know, my entire family, and friends. But I feel like I have to make this move, for myself.

Other than that I am ready. I move in August and I cannot wait. I am so excited. And if I am going to make a life changing move, the time to do it is now!

i will be going to Sacramento State University so I am officially a new hornet ( The Hornet is the school’s mascot).

I will be majoring in psychology and nutrition, and dorming for the very first time.

Whoo! can’t wait to experience that. This can go extremely well or terribly wrong, but I’ll pray for the best. I am easy to get along with🙂

If anyone else is forming or moving to a new dorm and needs to buy dorming supplies, I would suggest you check out

      (just click the banner for Dormco) or Dormitup.com.

That’s all for now ladies and gents!

I will be posting more, and making videos of my journey and my move so please stay tuned. And be sure to check out those two websites to SAVE money! Everyone knows dorming is EXPENSIVE.

And wish me luck🙂 If you want to know more, or have any questions, leave me a comment, or stay tuned.

Thank you for reading !

– Larie

HASSLE TO MASSACHUSETTS

So I had a rough time on my way to Massachusetts.

I had been planning to go to Massachusetts since last week. I even took a break from work to travel over there. I really had to see my family.

The last time I went, I decided to travel with a low key company that drives people from door to door.

It was pretty convenient. It didn’t have much space, nor top quality traveling conditions but It did have air conditioning, and I was willing to make the trip with them. I mean they were pretty cheap and door to door.

The first time they got me where I needed to go and back in perfect timing with no hassles; but Saturday– Saturday I was stressed.

For some reason things weren’t going well. I was supposed to leave at 10 AM, and then 2, and 6 and then 10 pm.

I called the day before and scheduled my pick up. I went shopping and had a really late night packing and organizing everything. I ended up going to sleep around 5AM to then wake up at 8AM. They told me to be ready by 8:30. And I was. I was sleep deprived, barely could muster two coherent thoughts, and felt a little sick, but I was determined to make it to Massachusetts. So After I was done, I sat to play with my baby nephew because I am going to miss him, and I forgot that I didn’t have my phone in my pocket and that it was on vibrate.

That was my fault.

I was too sleepy to remember. I called and rescheduled for 2pm, they said be ready by 12:30am.

Okayy, So in the positive side I was able to take a longer nap. I even through up the water I had drank. My body wasn’t feeling too well from staying up.

I woke up at 12. After the nap I felt better, I could think better. My stomach still wasn’t feeling well though. It was like I was tooo full but I hadn’t ate anything only drinking water. So I thought maybe if I drink my smoothie I might feel better. I did, but not too much I couldn’t drink it all right away, I have been drinking it little by little the whole day. So I ate sea salted almonds, maybe the seasalt would help the water content. It didn’t.

So I went downstairs at 12:30 because I wanted wait outside, and I wanted some sun before going in the van.

I ended up waiting till 1:14 and then finally calling them because it seemed they forgot about me.

They told me that they called me and that the guy had left already and that he isn’t going to turn around, but that maybe they can send someone else and they’ll call me back.

So I waited outside. and waited, called my boyfriend on Skype and spent some online time with him. And still they hadn’t called. So I called them, and it was the same story, they came, called, and no one answered. But both these times I had no missed calls, voicemails, or anything.

I understand that this is low quality travel, but I don’t believe that they were trying to get in contact with me for real. I was standing outside with suitcases and no one saw me, and I didn’t see them, so I’m not sure if they were lying to me, or if there was a miscommunication going on.

I was told to come to their site because they weren’t going to send anyone else.

So I sat down and stood on Skype for a little longer. and then I picked up my luggage and headed for the train. NYC transit is a pain. I also noticed that there aren’t many gentleman anymore, everyone saw me struggling with 3 bags, and no one tried to help me go down or up the stairs.

When I got here the last van going to Mass. was scheduled for 6pm, and they weren’t there anymore when i got there at 5:45. The next one was leaving at 10 pm and only going to Providence, not even all the way where I needed to go, I actually began waiting until 8pm and my sister told me to use take a cab back home and go tomorrow in the first van.

At least they had free WIFI in the waiting area for all the time I waited there.

But that’s what I did, and I made sure to be awake at 4 am to leave at 4:30 am the next day and finally I got to Massachussets at 9am Sunday. It was a fun ride, and the day before it turned out there was a fire on the road where I needed t pass through, and they closed the road so I actually saved myself a bigger hassle.

Maybe God intended for things to go this way for a reason. IDK. It was a hassle, but at the same time it was kind of fun. I got to spend time with my family and boyfriend, and even time alone in this waiting area. And frankly, I ended up laughing, enjoying it and thanking God the day after.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Veggetti, Spagetti Maker.

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At Bed, Bath, and Beyond I found The Veggetti Spiral Vegetable Slicer for $14.99 and the Spirooli Spiral Slicer for $24.99. Now I can make healthy Spaghetti from Veggies.🙂 mmmm. Continue reading

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Rawfully Organic

raw-food-diet

Starting 7 days ago, Aug 1, I have incorporated this new food .. lifestyle into my diet. It is called Fully Raw Vegan. So I am in the process of becoming a Fully Raw Vegan.

All Naturaal, eating only vegetables, fruits, nuts, and seeds. Continue reading

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